For a long time, I understood success through the eyes of competition. Football was a big part of my life from growing up in Louisiana to playing high school football in Los Angeles and eventually earning a full scholarship to Fresno State. In sports, there are clear ways to measure yourself. You have coaches, teammates, statistics, wins, losses, and competition telling you where you stand.

That kind of environment can teach you a lot, but it can also make you depend on outside approval. You start thinking about what other people think of your performance. You want coaches to notice you. You want teammates to respect you. You want people to recognize your effort.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that constantly chasing approval can take you away from the person you actually want to become. There comes a point when you have to stop asking whether everyone else thinks you are doing well and start asking yourself whether you are growing.

Approval Can Become a Trap

There is nothing wrong with wanting people to be proud of you. We all want recognition sometimes. The problem starts when approval becomes the reason behind everything you do.

When you are constantly looking for approval, you can start making decisions based on what will make other people happy instead of what is right for you. You may choose a goal because it sounds impressive. You may avoid taking a chance because you are afraid of what people will say if you fail.

I have learned that this mindset can hold you back.

Football taught me to compete, but life has taught me that not every competition needs an audience. Some of the most important progress you make happens privately, when nobody is watching.

Growth Looks Different Than Recognition

One of the biggest changes for me has been learning to appreciate growth even when there is no immediate recognition.

In football, improvement could be easy to see. You might become stronger, faster, or better at a particular part of the game. You could see the results on the field.

Personal growth is different. Sometimes it is learning how to handle disappointment better. Sometimes it is becoming more patient. Sometimes it is realizing that you need to change your approach.

Those improvements may never receive applause, but they still matter.

I have learned that becoming a better person is a much more meaningful goal than simply trying to look successful to other people.

My Football Experience Taught Me a Lot

My time in football gave me plenty of opportunities to experience both recognition and disappointment. I know what it feels like to work toward a goal and have people notice your progress. I also know what it feels like when things do not go exactly the way you planned.

Those experiences helped me understand that outside approval can disappear quickly.

One day people may be talking about your performance. The next day, they have moved on to someone else. If your confidence depends entirely on that attention, you are going to struggle.

What stays with you is what you built inside yourself.

Discipline stays. Work ethic stays. Resilience stays. The lessons stay.

Learning to Compete With Yourself

I still have a competitive side. That is part of who I am, and I do not think that needs to change.

What has changed is where I direct that competition.

Instead of always comparing myself to someone else, I try to compare myself to who I was yesterday. Am I stronger? Am I more disciplined? Am I learning? Am I making better decisions?

That kind of competition is much healthier because you are focused on something you can actually control.

You cannot control how talented another person is. You cannot control what someone else thinks of you. You can control your own effort and your willingness to improve.

Growth Requires Being Willing to Look at Yourself

Chasing growth also means being honest with yourself.

That is not always comfortable. Sometimes you have to admit that you made a mistake. Sometimes you have to accept that an approach is not working. Sometimes you have to recognize that you need help.

But those moments are valuable.

If you are only focused on looking successful, you will avoid anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you are focused on growth, you become willing to face those uncomfortable moments because you understand they can teach you something.

That is a mindset I continue to develop in my own life.

Finding Purpose Beyond the Field

After football, I had to think differently about what success meant to me. My playing career was an important part of my life, but I knew there had to be more beyond the game.

That has led me toward new interests, fitness, personal development, and giving back. I am also beginning to build Help2Others because I want to use some of the lessons from my own journey to support other people.

Those goals are not about proving something to everyone else. They are about building something meaningful.

That is what growth looks like for me now.

Letting Your Actions Speak

There is freedom in not needing everyone to understand what you are doing.

When you stop chasing approval, you can focus more on your actions. You can work quietly. You can make mistakes without feeling like the whole world is watching. You can take risks because you are no longer afraid that failure will change how everyone sees you.

That does not mean other people’s opinions never matter. It means they do not control your direction.

At the end of the day, you have to live with your decisions. I would rather know that I gave myself room to grow than spend my life trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.

Final Thoughts

Stopping the chase for approval does not mean you stop caring. It means you start caring about the right things.

I want to keep improving. I want to stay healthy, disciplined, and focused. I want to continue learning from my experiences and use them to help others.

Football taught me how to compete. Life has taught me that the most important competition is the one you have with yourself.

When you stop chasing approval and start chasing growth, you give yourself permission to become the person you actually want to be.

And that is a goal worth pursuing.